Lifestyle

Show Mom Extra Love on her First Mother’s Day as a Widow

Mom’s first Mother’s Day as a widow can be sad and lonely. If the loss is recent and if she has been accustomed to lavish attention, breakfast in bed and days of wine and roses, the family needs to gather near so she knows she has support as the day approaches.  Many widows don’t want to shut down or pretend everything is normal, they are realistic about their loss and want to celebrate the years of love they shared with their spouse.  How do you make the day pass without a reference to the dearly departed – you don’t.  In fact, planning a celebration that includes her love by saying things like, I remember how dad always made pancakes for you will most likely bring a big smile and start the conversation full of loving memories.  If it brings a few tears, that’s ok, too.

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If some time has passed since the death of her partner, let her know it’s okay to move on.  Suggest that she go on a blind date prior to Mother’s Day, so she knows you want to help her start new chapter.  Then, spend an afternoon with her browsing a dating site like eHarmony.  Follow that with the gift of a make-over.  When you use Groupon to arrange all these activities, it’s really easy and cost effective and she’ll appreciate the thought put into your efforts.

One thoughtful daughter told her mother she had a man she wanted her to meet.  When she showed up to her mother’s home alone, her mom was puzzled.  Then the daughter opened her tablet and began to browse through profiles on eHarmony (for free with a trial offer on Groupon.)  “We had so much fun laughing at those pictures and reading those profiles our sides hurt,” she said.  “I’d say, Look, here he is, Ma!  And she’d shout No way! And we’d burst into fits of giggles.”  But she got the message and soon opened her own account.  Now she’s dating a nice man who treats her like a queen.

And if dating is still out of the question, there are other ways to help.  Schedule maintenance on the house for her with a rent-a-hubby type service and get those light bulbs changed, those loose railings repaired or a patio scrubbed.  Don’t just take her out to brunch, take her to the next county or the seashore for a little rest and rejuvenation. And most important of all – if she says it’s too soon for so many changes, let her know that’s just fine.

 

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